True Grit

I enjoyed True Grit because Mattie was so badass. I especially admired her when she jumped into the river with Blackie when they wouldn’t let her cross on the boat. She wouldn’t let anything stop her. At the end, when she lost a hand, I couldn’t believe that she stayed strong. She was incredible at the age of only fourteen. But I also realized that she was different from me. I wouldn’t have been satisfied with that life.

However, I still liked reading about her life. The thrilling parts about a western is the lawlessness that’s in it. It’s on the edge of civilization. Everyone fights for their survival. There are no rules. That excites people. That’s why we like Pirates of the Caribbean and Star Trek too. It’s the quest for mighty treasures. And you get to kill off dangerous people along the way with no consequences.

Yet, this is only great in books and films. This doesn’t work in real life. So the fact that we’re living in a culture that believes in the Western ideals is extremely concerning. But I can see how it is reflected in our politics. Our new president is looking for a gunfight with anyone who threatens him. It’s also becoming more of a man’s world. The men are handling the politics and economy and everything else. And it’s not the men with the correct priorities. Our president signed a bill that limited women’s reproductive health. He was surrounded by a group of advisors at the time. All of the advisors were men. It’s like we’re moving backwards.

Pride and Prejudice

For this week, I read Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition, which, I have to say, was way more entertaining than Jane Austen's original writing. It reminded me that people were still very much normal humans in the 1800s and they had sex just like us. I also very much liked hearing Mr. Darcy's inner turmoil about Elizabeth Bennet. Hearing his thoughts made his fiery passionate love seem more realistic and believable.

After reading the story again, I realized at the end why the book was called Pride and Prejudice. It was around the part where Lizzie was lamenting on how her pride kept her from accepting Mr. Darcy's proposal when it hit me. Now, Austen's Sense and Sensibility makes sense as well.

Jane Austen enjoyed this world of the British gentry where women's only goal in life was to get married. Their lifestyles didn't make any sense to me. As far as I could tell, the characters only earned money from inheritance or land. They just spent all their time visiting other members of their class. And they would stay at the host's home for two months.

I found it interesting how there is a high school version of Pride and Prejudice. However, I later saw that Pride and Prejudice could easily be translated into a high school drama. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy were the popular jocks and Jane and Lizzie Bennett were the outsiders. That's all the wealthy people of Britain did: create drama with their eloquently written letters. And Miss Bingley was an expert at throwing shade.

I read a little about Jane Austen and found out that she never got married herself. All of her novels are about women who finally achieve marriage and love. Jane Austen never found her destined husband. I guess her writing was a way to live out her fantasies.

The last thing that I enjoyed about the book was how entertaining Lydia Bennett was as a character. She made so much sense when she hooked up with soldiers in alleyways instead of innocently being near them. It completely explained her choice of running off with Mr. Wickham with a total disregard for her family. She was an amusing character.

Prologue

I was born in Manhattan, New York. I had a blue birthmark on my butt. Korean babies have a blue mark on one butt cheek because our ancestors came from Mongolia. Apparently, it's a Mongolian thing. Eventually, this mark faded but, I have a birthmark on my chin that will not fade.

I grew up for a bit in New York. My mom told me that my days consisted of being pushed in a double stroller with my brother to all the playgrounds in Central Park. Even on rainy and cold days. She'd just throw this plastic tarp on us and walk all the way down the avenues. I still enjoy playgrounds.

I grew up a bit more in Fort Lee. There, I attended preschool and learned that I could buy friends by folding origami friends. We learn capitalism at an early age. Afterwards, I moved into the suburban town in central New Jersey. This would become my home for the next fifteen years. This town housed the school district that would come in first for many national math and science competitions. My friends raced to finish all the required courses so they could get started on college ones. Our high school football team frequently lost homecoming games. At the football games, my history teacher would shout, "Pirates pirates, fight fight fight! Three-fourths Asian and one-fourth White!"

This is where I grew up. A safe little bubble where the most extreme event was a troubled kid running away from home. I felt ignorant and naive as soon as I left my hometown. Maybe it was because I never personally knew the kids who smoked weed in the woods across the street. Everyone probably wasn't as ignorant as me.

Now that we're in college, what I considered outside problems introduced themselves to me. Those same friends from high school fought with depression, abusive relationships and suicide attempts. My world became a lot bigger.

I think now is a time to find my own person. Luckily, I've had wonderful adult figures to guide me. My immigrant parents cultivated an ambition to aim for an even better and more powerful life even though I worry sometimes that I don't the ability or willpower to achieve it. How can I compare to two people who left behind everything they knew and flew to an unknown country with just two bags of clothes? For a while, they used a cardboard ramen box for a kitchen table. And they somehow made it to here. How do I live up to that?